Sunday, November 27, 2011

Holly Jolly Creepy Yarny

Darling Divas (and Devos) of Darkness!   Now that we have stuffed ourselves like the turkeys we may have consumed, it is time to waddle to our electronic devices of inter-webbery, and do some shopping.  But just because the rest of the world is decked out in Santa hats and gawdy sweaters, doesn't mean the creepy and fantastic in life needs to be stored in the closet.  In fact we should be searching for the superb combination of twisted and titillating.  The ghastly and gorgeous!  And most of all, the  creepy and cuddly.   Unfortunately, most of us are lazy or don't know where to begin.  Mostly lazy.  Never fear my pretties!  I've already found the answer...
"blarggggah! nom, nom, nom...."
 Oh the bliss on Christmas morn' when your lover of horror opens one of Kim Sofia's custom creepys!  Picture the twinkle in their eyes... The fear in your in-laws... What joy!
"WE'RE GONNA GET YA!... and smother you with love"
Kim's Sticks and Strings provides more than just a twisted variety of nostalgic cuddles.  You can get "normal" goodies as well... but I don't see the point in that.  Kim specializes in unique creations that cause you to find the warm and fuzzy parts of your creepy loving heart.  The best part is anything you can dream up she can spawn out of yarn.  See yourself as a yarn god of zombies?  Perhaps, an undead movie icon?  She can produce.  
Fabulous custom creations!
As I do believe Kim to be my long lost sister from another mister who also happens to have a different mother, I needed to know more.  What goes on within the cranium of a goddess of yarn?   I wonder...

1. What first inspired you to go creepy?  I have always loved creepy, I watched all the old 50s & 60s horror movies, and loved each and every rubber monster...when I was a kid I used to go to the library and get all the horror books I could and take them out to a "fort" and read them...creepy has always been my favorite, every time I see a cute doll/toy, I instantly wonder what it would look like with blood or tentacles or after an accident... I got hand-me-down barbies from my step-dad's friends and many were handless and footless, and I made up stories for why they were the way they were and made a daily soap opera...

2. Do you name your creations? Fear them, perhaps?  I don't name them.   Prittay was "little evil Kitty" but i usually just call them "dear creepy one" since they will probably get a new name, i don't want them to imprint on me much since they will be leaving.
Meet Prittay!  The official Pretty & Putrid custom creepy.  I love her to pieces!

3. Have they made it into your dreams? And if so was it a dirty dream or more like inception?  I have dreamt about them, there's always a pseudo-puppet master scene where they are moving/crawling/lurching around me, moving chairs for me to sit in...and a few "normal" dolls get ruined in the dream, and they always like to creep around sleeping people...

4. Are they part of a master plan for world domination? If so what's the plan and will I be spared?  They're not really part of world domination, but I do like to think of them as a line of defense in z-poc.  In my dreams, they turn away the zombies from where I and other "owners" are --they tell the baddies "there's nothing good here"

5. Besides Prittay, do you have a fav?  I love Prittay so much, wanted her to really look like you, take on some specific you-ness, but I really like what i call "the torsos"--varying degrees of head, torso, and arms...in zombie mythos, you have to remove the brain, so if you take off the legs, they still want brains, they just have to drag themselves and lurch along, i LOVE that!
"look ma! No legs!"

6. What kind of sleeper skills do your creepys posses?   They love to be held and cuddled, so an innate ability to make you want to pick them up, AND THEN, they love you to play with them, make the creepy sounds, give them a voice.  So once you're enchanted enough to pick them up, then they take over a bit more and suddenly you're playing with them...they kind of take you to a place between childhood play, and adult love of horror...they've been known to move when you're not looking.  Often just to a more comfortable position, but if there is something in front of them, blocking YOUR view of THEM, they will knock things about to get your first look.

7. Do you prefer to come up with your own creation or to make a custom order?  I have an infinite number of zombies in my head, so while i love to come up with a whole little village, I love when someone asks me to make a zombie of them...in my head its like asking me to help drag a bit of creepiness out of them so they can see it...one of my first custom orders was a co-worker asking me to make zombies of her and her husband for his new desk at his new job for Valentines day....what says love more than a zombie of you and your spouse?

8. If you were to be paid in spider legs, how many would it take to get one of these babies?  EeEe, well, I'd have to be paid in super long or super hairy legs, probably 2 dozen really big spiders would have to lose all their legs...

9. Any special rituals involved in the preparation? (do you have to watch porn while eating pig livers before you can make one? Or do you need to add a toenail clipping from a lost orphan to your secret shrine ? anything we need to know?)  No real rituals.   I need good horror movies with screams and blood and death really early in the film.   I usually make the head and then the eyes so they can watch me while I make them.   They talk to me while I do it, "no, longer arms" "lots more blood please" "can I please hold a bit of brain?"

Hopefully in the future, our children will play with creepys in their creepy playset, complete with unfortunate victims.  No zombie lovers collection is complete without a creepy (or two.. hint, hint!) so contact Kim at kimperial1492@gmail.com or visit Kim's Sticks and Strings on Facebook.  Remember, the creepy compliments all winter holiday celebrations as well as Valentine's Day, Groundhog Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries and I'm-Sorry-I-Ate-Your-Cat days.  Now dream, my little pretties, and see what glorious creation awaits for you!